WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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