TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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