I must be too annoying 4 u.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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