Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
