Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
