I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
