HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
