i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
