We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
this is an emotional support booty call
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
