ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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