All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just cut my nipple shaving
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
