what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
