You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dignity is for republicans.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
