i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
