Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
why do cheetos always look like penises
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
