this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
