Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need a beard to bite.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
