I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
