am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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