I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
