the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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