return my video game
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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