it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
