i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I supernannyed him into submission
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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