return my video game
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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