I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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