He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize