Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
