Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
her vagine was all disorganized.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
