In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
