And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
