What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
