so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
