I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
