the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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