I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
