I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize