Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
