Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
