sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
