Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
