I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
