So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
