I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
