guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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