id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
