we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
