Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
