He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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