you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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