He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
