But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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