Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
