you would pick up someone in the library
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
