forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
