theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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