Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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