i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
